You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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