im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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