Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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