It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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