also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
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