hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
as a side note pls kill me
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
