The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
