i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You need a sexual gate keeper
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
