brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You ruined the universe
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
