Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
