Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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