Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
