I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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