Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
