Please, let me fuck your mom
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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