Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
