She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
