maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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