I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
