I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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