My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
