Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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