p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm getting married
To pizza
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
