don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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