I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Fuck me I smell like cheese
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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