I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
