i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I have aggressive nipples.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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