well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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