Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
