So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
