My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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