I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
