Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
