I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
