Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
My breasts were aching with rage.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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