It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
