I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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