I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
