I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
