Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
