Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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