I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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