i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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