when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
