i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
