North Korea, Best Korea!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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