why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
