Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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