The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
