can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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